If stage magic were real, then travel to other planets would be possible.

To think there was a time when I liked to eat rabbit! It was an exotic meat served only at hipster restaurants. I would pay a premium then complain that they would skimp on the meat. How I miss those days!

Now, like most people here on Mars, rabbit is my primary source of protein. I’m tired of it. Stage magic machines use the technique of production to create our unlimited supply of rabbits. The poor critters lived for just moments before being killed and prepped for meals. Yes, other things can be created with production. However, scientific analysts of the process has demonstrated time and again that rabbit is the most efficient form of protein that automated stage magic can create.

Fortunately for me being stuck on Mars eating rabbit isn’t going to be for much longer. Tomorrow the Transportation stage magic machine will send me from one lion’s cage here at Mons Olympus to a corresponding lion’s cage on a Las Vegas casino stage. They don’t do this often as the stage magic effects that can send people across planetary distances requires a sizable crowd inspired by someone extraordinarily famous to witness.

It is more than just eating anything besides rabbit that I am excited. You see, my research here on Mars has been that of having hundreds of card prediction stage magic machines to predict numbers in the near and far future. The results are gathered and collated into huge sets of predictive data. And the day I arrive back on Earth, every result predicted is from the suite of hearts. I’m certain this means that I will be meeting someone very special. Perhaps even the person I will marry!

It is with great sadness that we must report the untimely death of Dr. Terry Barnes at age thirty two. While the stage magic transportation from Mars to Earth of Doctor Barnes was successful, they suffered a massive heart attack and was clinically dead before medical assistance could be provided.

Last Updated: 9/1/2018, 9:24:42 PM